When the well's dry, we know the worth of water...(B. Franklin)

Balance
Balance

So, you may ask, who am I to give relationship advice...?  Well, it all started about 25 years ago when my parents divorced after their 20 year marriage...I am divorced after a 10 year relationship/marriage and about to re-marry….

So why would I have anything worth listening to…?  Did I do the "right" thing; did I do the "wrong" thing; or, am I completely mad?   I will let you decide that... One thing that I do know is that I have learned and I am learning from all of those experiences that have shaped my life…from my parents’ marriage and relationship after their divorce, my own-long term relationships, my marriage, my divorce and my imminent nuptials…

Last Thursday I wrote about looking good for your man when he gets home from work at the end of the week…I mentioned a few ideas for you to try... (I wonder if you have yet). So, this week I am going to share one of my lessons that I have learned on keeping an equal distribution of things in your relationship...in other words…

Balance.

My father always said "temptation [is] on the dance floor".  My father was an "old school" type...who thought a woman's place was near her man.   My mother used to say, "if you keep someone in prison they will try and get out"…Times and views have moved on in the last couple of decades but the difference between these two views - at opposite ends of the scale - gives me context in thinking about the need for balance in my relationship today…

We are all on the treadmill of life…constantly weighing competing interests. We want to spend time with our children; go out with our friends; go to the gym; look nice (for ourselves and those we love); find out what the Kardashians are up to or whatever else floats your boat…But we also have to work; to do the housework; look after our families; pay our bills; clean the fridge... I could go on and on... In juggling these competing interests we often forget about our other half...the man we literally share our lives with but haven't spent an hour with alone...without a phone; the TV; your iPad; or other people around, for so long we cannot remember...

Why not, for every night with your friends spend the equivalent amount of time with your man…Put the same amount of effort into your appearance, plan your outfit, organise the transport, book a table, message him about it, tell him you are looking forward to it and dedicated yourself as you do when you are with your girlfriends... is that balance so hard to achieve….?

The "date night" culture, which btw in my experience, usually ends up in consuming too many mid-week calories and sitting across the table from your man while you are both on your phones…(after you've checked in and had a selfie of course - we've all done it)… So perhaps forget that approach and balance your day-to-day interests and demands against those of the success of your relationship...long term...Take some time this week to make an effort, even if you go for a walk together, just hold hands, plan, dream, laugh, love and just be a couple….And, if that doesn't work there's always NetFlix.

Piper x

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